I must confess. I’ve been in a bit of a funk lately. Earlier this month, we marked the 10 year anniversary of living in our condo, which left me with many conflicting feelings. I think if I knew what came next, I would be better able to live in the moment and be happy. But sitting with the uncertainty of where we’re headed is making me a bit crazy, to be honest. We wanted to put the condo on the market this spring, but for myriad reasons, it isn’t the right time. An opportunity may arise this fall, but it’s not certain. Which leaves me in limbo, and I hate limbo!
I just don’t know if I should be neutralizing the space because we’ll be putting it on the market in the near future, or if spending that money and time would be a waste. I don’t know if I should invest in making things more comfortable here for us, for future buyers, or what. Part of me also wants to change things just because it’s been 10 years and I sort of feel ready for a change. We remodeled our bathroom last fall, and I feel like I never really finished it, because we didn’t repaint the walls and vanity. So, I could do that, just to check it off the list, or I could leave it the color it is, because it’d be fine for future buyers.
Where do I invest my time and money and heart, when I don’t know what the future will bring?
Ceding control is a big detriment to my happiness. There’s no way for me to know exactly when we’ll get to sell the condo and buy a single family home, so I need to just let it go. I know deep down that I should make the changes to our home that will make me happy, while also continuing to save money for our future home. Things will find a way of working themselves out when the time comes.
Meanwhile, I also compare myself to others around us who have what I want: a house. My obsession with selling the condo and buying a house grows and grows, and I feel disappointment and despair when it isn’t happening for us.
I’m engaging in two bad habits that lower happiness:
- I am fighting for control and hoping that a very specific outcome will make me happy.
- I am comparing my life to others’.
This great article by Benjamin Hardy lays out 10 behaviors that lead to happiness. I am doing the complete opposite of two of them.
I definitely don’t have the answers, but I am going to start writing here at my blog again. I plan to actively start pursuing a simpler, more minimalist life in order to break out of this negative pattern I’ve found myself in again. There are so many wonderful resources out there that should prove helpful to me, and maybe you as well.